Sunday, June 15, 2014

Love?

What is love?

When it comes to love, I always don’t have a fixed definition for love. Well, I’m talking about the boy girl love, not the general love or agape love.

So Is there a perfect love?

I always hear songs, describing how exciting, pure and romantic love is. How one would love the other more and more each day, how their feelings for the other is uncontainable.

But I reckon every mature being knows that that is just a facet of love. Love encompasses so many different facets of feelings and emotions.

Having walking on this planet for 25 years, I realise life has more hardships than smooth-going moments. Same goes with love I suppose, where it often brings more disappointment, hatred and confusion. If that’s the case, why love in the very beginning?

Some people may have entered into a relationship ever so naturally that it is beyond their conscious decision. Some people may tend to overthink, and be very careful in handling relationship related issues. I would think I belong to this group more.

And having said that, I realise that once I’ve decided to step into a relationship, I am exposed to the risk of all sorts of emotional turmoils. And it involves 2 person, not just me. Meaning, I have to manage 2 persons’ emotion rather than one. That is indeed a very sticky situation.

But love has always been elevated to a position where is seems that, without love one is almost impossible to feel the fulfilment of life. Without having someone to express our love to, we would most likely be living a lonely life, while craving for a life that is satisfying. Is that the case?

Or is it simply because I have never really experienced love and that’s the roots of all these ramblings?

So what is love?

Well,

I think there must be greater wisdom in love. There must be greater testimonies of love other than those that I’ve witnessed. There must be some other facets of love that I’ve never experienced.

There must be more than this.

And the only way to find it out is to take the risk and explore it all. Would it be worth it? Time will tell.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

First Year Down

It has been a year.

I wouldn't think it's a short brief year, as most of the time I would. The last 12 months feels like a long, long time for me.

It has been a long journey that very often I couldn't see the end of it.

The reason is because it has been a journey of faith, obedience and character building. When it comes to leaving comfort zone, it has never been easy. It has never been brief. It always feel like it's taking so long to be able to have a breakthrough within myself.

Nevertheless God is good. He has put people around me to journey with me. He has put words in my heart when I feel so lost and hurtful. He is the best teacher and comforter. He is always firm and therefore I put my hope in Him, knowing that all things work for the good of those who love Him. What else could I ask for?

And now I'm embarking into the second year. I pray that God will grant me freshness and a renewed passion for my mission. The best is yet to come. =)

Pink Tulips. Wynyard, Tasmania. Oct 2012.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Thought of de Day


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

2014... Weeee~

2013 has gone for a week now.

It has been a year, that I am out of word to describe.
Something that I had never imagined. A journey that I am so unfamiliar with.

Well, I wasn't alone. I have family and friends with me and also God. 
Through ups and downs and continuous inner searching and refining, I guess I grew up a little bit haha.

Learned more about life and who I am and what are the things that mean to me the most.

The best thing about 2013 is that I got to end it with a trip back to my 3rd home. That's not just it, but I got to meet most of my best mates. These are the people that probably means the most to me since I left home for tertiary studies. And I met almost all of them in 2 weeks time. God is indeed great. He blessed me with things that money can't buy. I'm grateful.

Now that a week has gone, I'm anticipating what 2014 will bring. Whatever it is, I'm glad that I will never be alone with all the blessings that had been showered upon me. =)

Monday, September 30, 2013

Brief Trip

It was such a brief trip but really nice fellowship time. Sometimes I just wish we can all travel back to time when we were all in Tassie. When we sat around on couches and read His words. And we shared out thoughts and lives. Time was sort of fully in control in our hands and we can choose to spend it the way we want. 

But things are different now. 

We are no longer living in a same small town but scattered here and there. And we have our own commitments in life. We can't spend time with each other as if time is on our side.

Time is irreversible but we can try our best to create moments that we can continue to cherish. Thanks guys for your efforts. Love you all. :)

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Thought of de Day

Road to South Cape. November 2012. Tasmania. 
I was reading on Hebrews 11 last night.

It begins with verse 1-2 which says: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

The chapter goes on to give examples of how God's people in the old testament had obeyed God and yet they did not see what their sacrifices are all about. At the end of the chapter, verse 39-40 says: These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

I believe a lot of times we do not have the answers to things that happened in our lives. We cannot make sense with the things that we see. We think that God did not actually have a plan. He just want us to suffer and still follow Him blindly.

Do we question God and leave God when we do not find our desired answer?

Well, in sufferings I do believe that obedience and faithfulness come first above all. In other words, we have to still believe and trust in Him no matter what. Only in hard times our submission to God's will is tested and will be proven precious.

I reckon Hebrews chapter 12 answers that clearly. More than often we don't get answers to things that happened around us within our lifetime. It is after our lifetime that the future generation reap whatever we sowed. Together we are blessed in His will but just not at the same time. Therefore it is too early for us to judge and say that our sufferings are in vain. We should trust in God that He has a better plan and our faithfulness with bless the future generations.

To those who are suffering and yet do not find an answer, hang on there. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Failed Outreach

Last Sunday I was driving on a highway in PJ. I was on my way back from church and the dark sky hinted the coming of a storm. As I was getting closer to my house, suddenly my thought went out to those who are waiting for the bus at the bus stop. I know how they feel. It doesn't feel good when you see the rain about to fall and the bus that you have waited for long is still nowhere to be seen. It isn't nice at all.

So as I was reaching, my eyes were sweeping through the pedestrians on the pavement beside the highway. And I saw these 3 people. I scanned through their facial expression, expecting them to somewhat look worried.

And then it was that moment I was surprised. I actually know one of those 3 people!

I had never seen that guy (well, let's call him Alex) since I left my college 4 years ago. It has truly been a while. Alex did come to my mind within these 4 years time. Seeing him reminded me of the days when we were in Taylor's College Christian Fellowship. Yes, it wasn't a university back then. Alex found about our CF and he has then been faithfully attending ever since.
The interesting thing about this person is that he had difficulty in socializing. This ended up him being an outcast. A lot of us didn't know what to do. We didn't know how to show our love. We didn't know how to cope with his 'intrusion' into our lives. The steering committee tried our best to accept him in the most natural setting while trying to make other members comfortable of his presence.

It wasn't easy. Or maybe I wasn't good enough to come out with something.

After a few months, we got this news from Alex. Alex couldn't continue with his studies with Taylor's any longer. He had to go. He left us.

Personally, I felt relieved then. It felt like out of a sudden I don't have to face this situation anymore. It felt as if God heard our wishes and took him away. However I do feel sad for him at the same time.

It saddened me even more when I saw that Alex looked almost the same today as how he was 4 years ago. He doesn't look happy. He doesn't dress neatly. I don't know what he had gone through.

Now, the question is, am I be able to love him more than I used to if we ever meet face to face again?

I used to partially reject him through my actions and words. I didn't love and accept him wholeheartedly. Can I do better now after 4 years time?

Oh God have mercy on me.

Lord I really pray that you will bless Alex and continue to mold him. Send your people to teach and guide him. I failed to leave any impact in his life. I hope someone would do better than me. Lord send that person to Alex's family and change the situation around. In Jesus' name, amen.
Opposite Hang Jebat's grave, Melaka. August 2013.
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